Why I hate Outland, and other crappy sequels

 

I went back into Outland to help a friend level up.  It was then that I realized that I truly hate that place.

I loved the movie Highlander.  (It wasn’t The Highlander, just Highlander.  Google it.)  It is one of my favorite movies of all time.  It is right up there with my all time favorite movie: The Last of the Mohicans.  Highlander rocks.  If you disagree, then you are probably Canadian.

LotM, The ultimate movie.

 

But then Highlander 2: The Quickening came out and ruined everything.  The movie sucked.  A lot.  It was like some bean counters wanted more profit so they slapped together a quick script and called it a movie.  All of a sudden we had aliens, magical ozone shields, and a hellish nightmare-world.

Which is why I vehemently dislike Outland.

It just doesn’t make sense.  There’s a shattered planet that used to be the home of the Orcs.  A bunch of space-goats try to flee the planet in a spaceship, but crash land on our planet that just happens to have the only operational portal leading directly back to the place they just left?  It’d be like Tom Hanks in Castaway finally escaping the island and returning to work at FedEx in Memphis, only to discover that FedEx has now started same-day delivery to that same island and there’s a flight leaving every hour.

Hellfire Penninsula was just an area to level up in.  I never felt a connection to the storyline there.  Welcome to the war, kid.  Grab your gear and let’s go.  Here the Horde and Alliance have teamed up to fight the Burning Legion.  At least until you report to your faction’s town in Hellfire Penn, then it’s back to war with each other.

But then I made it to Zangarmarsh and met the Mushroom People.  Oh well.  At least the developers took that part of the world design seriously.

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!?!?!  Giant mushrooms with little magical mushroom people running around?  Your quests were to go and pick mushrooms?  Do I even want to know what was going on in the Blizzard design room that day?

And what’s on the other side of the world?  Why does gravity only work one way?  Will the next expansion be in Upside-Down Land?

Why does the second movie always suck in trilogies?  The second movie in the three newest Star Wars movies blew chunks.  Jar-Jar Binks rates right up there with Sporeggar.  The second Indiana Jones movie was rough.  The second Back to the Future movie was bad. 

Which is why I am happy to quest in Northrend.  The place seems real.  I feel the story again.  And I am happy.

Also, the gear reminds me of Highlander.  Which is one of the greatest movies of all time.

Connor, sporting the Borean Tundra epics.

 

Patch 3.1 inbound and I get to go back to Shadow.

/maniacal giggling